Courage for Life Beyond Labels

Marissa Nordlum and her family.

This month’s Member Spotlight is a woman whose story will stir your heart, strengthen your convictions, and remind you of the sacred worth of every human life. Marissa Nordlum told her story recently on Dream City Church’s Into the Fire Podcast. 

Marissa shares her deeply personal journey of faith, courage, and unconditional love as she walks through an unexpected diagnosis and boldly chooses life for her son, River. In a world quick to assign labels and limit potential, Marissa's story is a powerful testament to the truth that every child is fearfully and wonderfully made. If you care about families, the value of life, and the beauty of purpose beyond labels, this is a story you need to read. 

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made 
by Marissa Nordlum 

I remember it all so clearly, sitting in that sterile medical office, excited and expectant to hear our first sons’ heartbeat and see his tiny toes and hands on the ultrasound. My husband and I had prayed for our child, long before we knew who he was. We felt the Lord clearly speak to us we would have a son, and we would name him River. We knew that he would be set apart and be a mighty man of God with a unique calling on his life. We felt the Lord’s hand of protection over my womb and over his life from the very beginning of my pregnancy.  However, what we didn’t know was the difficult road we would walk when those words “Trisomy 21” were uttered in that OBGYN office that day.  

“We believe your son has Down Syndrome” said the doctor after our 20-week anatomy scan. We were immediately asked if we wanted to do further, invasive genetic testing, amniocentesis to be exact. The reason these tests were presented to us was to decide “what we wanted to do with the pregnancy” according to medical staff.  From the very beginning, we made it clear we stood for life. Abortion was not an option. Our doctors, nurses, and every medical staff around us knew we would fight, and advocate for our child, and that their life was beyond value. We politely declined the tests, and only did what was necessary during my pregnancy (high risk ultrasounds) to confirm his heart and organ development looked good throughout the rest of my pregnancy.  

Twenty weeks later, on my due date, our perfect son, River was born. I remember looking at him and thinking how fearfully and wonderfully he had been created by our God. His piercing blue eyes looked into my soul, while his soft skin and white, blonde hair was the purest thing I’d ever seen. Immediately after delivery, there were whispers that filled our hospital room. Nurses and doctors would come in and make subtle remarks and comments out our son. They would mention to me that his eyes were set wide apart and that wasn’t “normal”. That his feet had separation where they shouldn’t and that his toes were shaped different and that also wasn’t “normal”. They would comment on his physical appearance and how it “looked” like down syndrome. These comments would break my heart because his identity, in their eyes, was based off how he looked, and not by who I knew he was, a precious child of God. River’s appearance didn’t define what he was capable of, and I knew from that point on, I would spend my life advocating for the special needs community and that they are ALL fearfully and wonderfully created.  

We proceeded to have a blood test drawn after his birth and confirm he did indeed have Trisomy 21. Finding out this news was difficult for us at first, but it never changed the fact that we knew God had a special calling on our sons’ life. We knew he was set apart for a purpose. A purpose that was slowly starting to be revealed to us. After we were discharged from the hospital and our NICU stay, we were determined to raise our son not with the label “down syndrome” but for exactly who he was, a child of God. A little boy who was fearfully and wonderfully created in the image of God. A little boy who could accomplish anything God had prepared his unique journey for.   
 
We did just that and have continued to raise him this way as he grows. Our River is now 5 years old and has already overcome so many hurdles. We were told he had a heart issue, and it was monitored until 9 months of age, when his cardiologist said “I never need to see you again. His heart looks perfect”. We were told he would need orthopedics to walk for the rest of his life, and at 2 years old, he started running, without hinderance, and without braces. We were also told learning would be a challenge for him, and now River talks full sentences and attends a regular kindergarten class alongside typical peers. Time and time again, we’ve seen God miraculously touch his body and it be a testament to doctors, nurses, and therapists. He has proven over and over again: he is not defined by Trisomy 21. Down Syndrome is a part of who River is, but it is not who he is.  

We live in a world today where society tells us who we are and what we will become. We feel standards and restrictions placed upon us that say “you can” or “you can’t” do this. Whether you are young, old, black, white, female, male, disabled, healthy, sick, or diagnosed with some sort of disorder. Society likes to make us believe our identity is defined by these labels. We create Instagram bios, LinkedIn profiles, and personal resumes with these characteristics in mind. We apply for jobs, colleges, and even seek friendships with others based off these things we think define our identity. While society tells us these factors define our identify, that couldn’t be further from the truth.  

I think this is a big part of why the abortion statics are so high for those diagnosed with prenatal genetic conditions like Down Syndrome. In the United States, over 65% of babies with down syndrome diagnoses are aborted in utero. And in other countries, that number is closer to 90%. This is completely gut wrenching, and this should not be the case. There is a view that because of a diagnosis, these individuals are not capable, not able, or a burden to society and that is simply not true.  

River’s life is the greatest example of this. River’s story has become a beacon of hope to many, even at a young age. I’ve watched other special needs parents be encouraged by seeing his story in action and ask me how we have raised him. I always tell people, it is amazing what God can do when you speak LIFE over your child, and you don’t let a label define them. We have never let any label define River, and we never will. I will teach him, and his siblings to never let society’s labels define them as they become adults. Their value and their purpose are only defined by one thing, and that is who God says they are. Our lives and the lives of our children were never meant to be defined by the world’s standards, but by God’s standards. He says we are fearfully and wonderfully made, in his image. He alone decides and knows what we can accomplish and do in this life, with our lives.  

Having River as my son has grown me in so many ways, and for that I am forever grateful. He teaches me daily what it looks like to be joyful, expressive, sacrificial, emotional, and to love others unconditionally. I believe that when others can see first-hand how labels do not define our identity, we will see abortion rates drop, and families hold onto hope for their developing children’s lives. Every life in the womb is worth fighting for. Every life has unique giftings and callings. Every life is fearfully and wonderfully made.